Thursday, July 12, 2007

The Impending Menace

A new frightening horizon approaches as Americans look outward to dangers from afar while ignoring those dangers which multiply here at home, which no one seems to be aware. All seem to be focused on the people of brown hue, whether Mexican or Muslim, as the threat we must guard against to avoid extinction. The danger however, is here, and has been living among us for centuries. They live alongside us, and due to their humble and white exterior we typically ignore them. But their power and influence are growing. I am speaking, of course, about the Amish.

These people have lived in this nation as citizens since the 18th century, and have continually refused to assimilate into our culture. In fact, not only have they not assimilated but have continually moved to differentiate their culture. As time went by and technology advanced they have, for the most part, kept with the technology and traditions of the 16th century, eschewing all the wonders and comforts of modern technology.

The Amish population is growing at a tremendous rate and threatens to eventually unseat our great American culture. The average Amish family has seven children, and ten is quite common. In the past century, while other societies have been assimilated, the Amish have refused and added to their numbers. Average population growth for the Amish community from 1890 to 1990 is between 39% and 42.3% while the average for the total population has been between 12.1% and 14.06%. In those one hundred years the Amish population grew from an estimated 3,700 to 128,000. In 1890, only 1 in 16,924 American citizens was Amish. Today, according to some estimates, it is now 1 in 2,000. In another one hundred years, if population trends continue, 1 in 268 American citizens will be Amish. If this rate continues, and it will likely be worse, we are looking at the eventual possibility of Amish domination of these United States of America.

They are also a menace due to their anti-war positions. All Amish refuse to serve as members of the military and have refused to answer the call when their country needed them most. How will our country survive from outside threats when our national policy is dominated by Amish peaceniks?

The Amish also refuse to participate in our consumer society. For the most part they buy only what they need, and their community, if not each individual, produces all that they ever need. What would this do to our great consumer driven economy? What about entertainment, not to mention impulse buying which, as Americans, is our God given right?!

Not only would there be a loss of mass production of consumer goods, but what about the loss of technology, which the Amish would ban once they took control? Can any of you see yourselves giving up their right to a car and being forced to trade it in for a two horse-power buggy? They would take away our comforts brought on by the technology they have rejected, and this we cannot allow!

And what of their religious beliefs? Everyone reading this knows that one receives personal salvation only by accepting Jesus Christ as their savior. But the Amish believe that it is in how one lives their life that salvation is achieved, and that it is not guaranteed. Such proves that the Amish are no better than the Catholic, Muslim, or Hindu heathens!

The final threat is in their communal way of life. They do not believe in individual merit or enterprise. Instead they put the community first and helping others as central to life. These Amish would destroy our great Republic, under God!, and supplant it with godless communism!

So I ask, all of you who read this, help stop the Amish menace! We cannot allow them to outbreed us and take control of this nation! As Americans, it is our duty to breed like rabbits and make sure their percentages are allowed to rise no longer. Such would not only be a disaster for each individual citizen, but the end of the nation as a whole because once they supplant our values and our way of life, they will open us to be overrun by the Mexican and Muslim hordes waiting on our borders!

Note on sources: All Amish population data and references to Amish culture are from Hostetler. Percentages and ratios of population are my own calculations from available census data.


John A. Hostetler, Amish Society

‘US Population from 1900’, < http://www.demographia.com/db-uspop1900.htm >

‘United States Census, 1890’, < http://www.answers.com/topic/united-states-census-1890 >

24 comments:

GottaLaff said...

Ashen,
I don't have an email address for you, so I'm resorting to a comment in hopes you'll check in soon:

I have been tagged by Mary Ellen for The Schmooze Award. Thank you, M.E.! If I weren't such a schmoozer, I would be at a loss for words.

Bloggers who accept the award should then pass it on to five blogs of their choice, which is why you're reading this. If you're not reading this, then it compares reasonably to a typical blog post.

I'm doing this a little differently. I'm new to the blogosphere, so I haven't been in personal contact with that many bloggers. I do have my favorites though, and it was obvious to me that you deserved this prestigious, if not dubious, honor.

I learned from the best, as my roots are in the TV industry, aka Schmooze Central. Without schmoozability, I'd have been reduced to "schmo--" ..Not that schmo-dom is a bad thing. But if I've learned anything, it's that blogging requires more than that. It requires being a schmo who knows how to write things that other schmoes can relate to.

Please accept this Schmooze Award with my best wishes and congratulations for being at least as demented as I am. Here's to never shutting up.

All the best,

GottaLaff
at CliffSchecter.com

GottaLaff said...

Tongue implanted firmly in cheek.

Excellent.

Lucy said...

An Anabaptist here- the Amish are fine people who believe in faith nad good good works, afterall if we love God we will want to obey God.They are worthy pacifists and if America were a pacifist country, Americans would not be hated worldwide.Your country is wronmgfully invades and oppresses other countries and its time Geworge Bush was on trial for war crimes.If you have a complaint against the Amish, speak to them about it instead of spewing hatred about themn on the Internet.

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I know this is an old post, but I just found it and have to say...you may be my new hero.

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